Jinyan Feng

I be expected and demanded by a variety of exterior needs of society. Seeking for the perfect image from others’ perspectives, and become the self in other people’s eyes, I split myself into several versions of me, so as to cater to others’ expectations.

I am constantly reflecting and awakening. This work conveys the emotional process of self-contradiction. I discover my subconsciousness --- the depressed self. Because of the impact caused by the outside world, I cannot help noticing the existence of me with the opposite personality.

I discovered the part of my personality that I suppressed in order to cater to the expectations of others, so I always feel that two of me are contained in one body. I want to change. When I read Octavia Butler’s book Parable of the sower. Which is a post-apocalyptic novel about a young girl who invents her own religion where god changes. Therefore, I want to deconstruct myself and rebuild a new figure just like post-human in cyberspace which only belongs to me. This thought will drive me to self-transcendence and create a new utopia.