Xiaochun Wang

From my traumatic childhood experience of constantly moving to different cities, schools and training with professional swimmers, my artwork explores the relationship between others and me, the transformation of different roles, changing identities, a lack of belonging, vulnerability, pain, transience and memory. The relation to my practice is trying to heal myself by expressing my feelings and thoughts through the artwork; it is also to find a way to communicate with others. Artistic creation makes me seriously and bravely face the voice from my inner body and pass its message to the outside world. I am working on experimental the possibility of bringing an experience to the audience rather than passive observation. 

I was born in Xian, when I was three years old my family moved to Beijing where I grew up. I almost switched primary schools every year to get better swimming training. I also had a short experience where I lived in Hangzhou for one month to get an Olympic champion’s coach training. I always need to accept not only the regional cultural differences brought by change in environment, but also need to keep adapting to the environment and making new friends. I went to join the Beijing professional swimming team when I was 11, that experience changed my life completely. I spent half of my day in the water, overtraining, I lived in the swimming team with other team members. I could only call my parents once a week and go home once every two weeks. My parents weren’t allowed to visit me often, I didn't have any holidays, even on Chinese New Year I still had training. I spent two years in the professional swimming team until I couldn't take it anymore, it was the nightmare for me. Countless times I fantasized about jumping off the building to escape, to escape this place, a place like a cage, where I am the prisoner, a prisoner strapped in that place. 

This experience has allowed me to build a strong relationship with water, water is one of the key elements that appear in my work. Similar to the invisible space I have built in my work, I always want to run away from the invisible space that has limited myself. After middle school, my parents sent me to The United States of America, it was an international all-girls boarding school where I experienced a huge cultural difference and often felt homesick. It was a tough time for me, I need to change myself to adapt to and integrate into this new environment. I also dealt with school bullying, but more quietly, when no other Chinese student spoke to me for a month. That's the reason I'm afraid to express myself, and tend to hide my voice. There are multiple identities and faces I have in order to disguise myself to fit into different groups. Sometimes I don't even know what is the disguise and which is the real me in my own voice. Unconsciously leading me to face the problems that I have been avoiding all this time, these experiences are like shadows that appear in my work. My artwork carries the message that I want to pass to others whether it is conscious or unconscious. I can't say I've gotten over it, but it is a good starting point for me to communicate through my artwork. I found the process of creation not only has the ability to heal myself by expressing feelings and thoughts through the artwork, but I have also found that I have matured with the production of my artworks. Artwork not only enables the audience to feel and have new experiences but also enables the artist to learn from them.

I believe that art can be a platform for people to communicate. The difficulty in representation and interpretation may never be settled. It is difficult to have true communication with each other, but misunderstandings are the most beautiful thing that happen in communication, it has organically made something “new". Art is not only the expression of written language or emotions, but it also carries a unique 'Aura'. This aura is generated by the artist's own unique experiences and feelings in a specific place and period. I will continue exploring myself through constant learning and share the experience to communicate with others. Life is a process of finding yourself through contact with reality, or maybe life is the way to find different routes for yourself through that narrative.